As per the latest laws in India, women are
entitled to equal share in property. This has been in vogue for more
than a decade. But is that functional in the case of Indian women? As
long as people don't talk about property, all brothers and sisters are the
greatest chums of each other. But once division of ancestral property comes up
as a part of family discussion, we see the ugly selfish minds of people against
their own kith and kin. Even today there are people who think that wealth
should go to the son because he performs their last rites(in most of the hindu
patriarchal families). They consider the son's lineage as their own and they
prefer to give him everything they have even if he is born many years after the
daughter. They easily cut her off from her legitimate rights because this has
precisely been the trend since age immemorial. All these years the
hindu property laws have been biased against women. An average hindu mind is
still not prepared to accept the new laws. The daughter often finds that she
gets a very raw deal, even if she has had a bad marriage. Now the trouble
is that the people the lady has to deal with is her own mother, father and
brother, whom she may have loved and cared for.
If a handful of women have had a fair deal from their parents, good
for them. But the fact is society makes things worse in many ways. The
favorite topic is the marriage. Hindu marriages are mostly conducted by the
girl's parents. The boy's parents may want a "grand" marriage. The
girl's parents tell them that if the marriage is simple and the expenses are
nominal, then they would give her a flat. But they are made to spend damn
heavily on the marriage, then they would not give equal property share for the
girl but just a few thousands as gift vouchers. She can't ask for
property thereafter. All this discussion takes place in the absence of
the girl, who is supposed to feel shy and stay in her room. So the girl's
father and boy's father decide that the marriage ceremony should be grandly
performed, with all costly paraphernaila hired and heavy sarees and jewels for
relatives. Let us not talk about property now. The girl's father can do
whatever he wants with the property. Well, why should the boy's parents be
worried about what the girl gets? They apparently don't mind sacrificing
the girl's interest for a few happy moments for themselves.After the marriage and
a couple of years, the divison of the property takes place. The father and the
brothers of the girl, keep her off. They tell her that all the property share
she deserved was already spent on the marriage expense and dowry of the girl.
Earlier the girl may not have been given a professional education because her
parents at that time might have thought that this is after all a girl.
Since her marriage expense is there before them in future, why spend on her
education? Again when the property share is broached,they quote
the same marriage expense. When the marriage expenses were taken care
of mainly under the insistence of "her people" (who??? The
husband's parents are now referred to her as "her people" ),
ahemm... so as her people had asked for it, what makes her ask for equal
proprety share? So the daughter gets nothing. She is treated as if she simply
doesn't exist. Now who decides the marriage expense and at the cost of whom?
The net result is that the girl is deprived of her share for no fault of
hers. I don't speak of
"smart" girls who are such clever Gonerils and Regans that they
manipulate their parents and see to it that they get a major share of property.
Other than an equal fair share, they claim the entire heap of the
mother's jewels too, as a token of affection. But there are women who may
have had a comparitively poor education, a bad marriage and yet a bad
property deal doled out by her own parents. When it is the father's
self earned property, it is easy for him to say "It is not necessary for
me to give you anything.... it is my money and it should go to
my son". Now this is a very delicate issue that can complicate
things. She may agree, she does but feel hurt. The relationship sours and she
decides never to turn to her parents any more. When the question of taking care
of parents come, these days parents do depend a lot on their daughters. It
is so mercenery to neglect responsibility for not having got a share, so
she goes out of her way to help them in many ways.
Even other wise, an average woman is scared to ask anything by way of share
because her brothers promptly allege that her husband is demanding
dowry through her by clandestine means, brainwashing her innocent mind.
Something that may be false and wholly untrue. The husband may keep out
of this completely. Yet, relationships get bitter when her husband is dragged
into this unnecessarily and accused of what he does not even intend. It breaks
family ties and daughters become permanent enemies of their own parents.
The tricky aspect of all this is that every problem cannot be solved be law.
There may be gentle hearted girls, who willingly forgo what is rightfully
theirs because their brains get twisted by dowry issue. If the husband opens
his mouth, specially when the father in law is propertied, she begins to
suspect that her own husband of demanding dowry. Things get complex when
an unsuspecting mother in law makes a request to the girl's parents to gift a
certain jewel, small trinkets like a half a soverign gold ring or a tiny vessel
that any one can afford for the birth of a child. This gets
featured in the family discussion as "demand for dowry. "At school
level and college level we violently attack dowry system and call it an evil
and so on. But in real life things could be so deviantly interpreted to the
disadvantage of daughters. Educated hindus bash dowry system so much that the
daughters are expected to stay silent and take anything that is offered.
Sometimes it is so painful to see the way parents jealously safeguard the
interests of the son. Property share is confused with dowry issues and
marriage expenses in such a clever manner that the daughter is finally kept out
of family property. Finally all you really get is what you earn by the sweat of
your brow. Family property goes to the male, thank you. If any thing is
demanded by the daughter or offered to the daughter, may she be hanged for
desiring "dowry".Phew! When is Indian Legal system going to
define dowry and property share in more clear, distinct terms
to protect the lady's interests? Or the least, what advice would you like to
give so that every body gets a fair share with out filial bonds getting upset?
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