New divorce law loaded against women

New divorce law loaded against women: Arun Jaitley

NEW DELHI: A bill seeking to make 'irretrievable breakdown of marriage' as a ground for divorce appeared to be in trouble with MPs from within the ruling side as well as the Opposition attacking the changes.

The Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, which was taken up passage in the Rajya Sabha on Monday, was seen to be loaded against women by a significant section of the House. In the face of concerns raised by members, the bill will now be taken up 

for discussion on Wednesday.

The Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill seeks to amend the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, and the Special Marriage Act, 1954, to provide for "irretrievable breakdown of marriage" as a new ground for divorce. It suggests that a divorce on these grounds would be granted provided it doesn't cause 'grave financial hardship' to the wife.

The current amendment takes its cue from the Law Commission's report and two 1985 Supreme Courtjudgments. It is based on the premise, prevalent across the world, that there is no need to continue with a marriage that has failed.

Leader of the Opposition Arun Jaitley, who agreed that if a marriage is dead, it should be given a burial by a decree of divorce, said the rights of the woman should get absolute protection. He said since the the law doesn't provide for financial backbone for women, they are likely to end up becoming "permanently dependent" on their parents and siblings.

Calling on the government to think through the proposed legislation, Jaitley said that in its current form, "this law may end up creating unusual hardships for women in India."

In India, divorces are conventionally granted on two broad grounds - mutual consent and matrimonial default. The latter, which includes mental and physical cruelty, adultery, desertion, conversion and communicable diseases, allows for the victim to ask for divorce.

"No person can take the benefit of their own default. In that sense, irretrievable breakdown is different from conventional jurisprudence on divorce, in that the person who cause the default can ask for the divorce," Jaitley said.

He stressed those countries which allow for irretrievable breakdown as a ground for divorce have a very strong support system for the wife and children.

"Such divorces become very costly, as property and income is shared with the wife and children. I regret to say that Supreme Court can interpret laws and suggest advancements but elected representatives know the realities better, and without financial backing, women will end up sufferers," BJP leader said.

10 ways to avoid divorce disaster

10 ways to avoid divorce disaster

Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Yet all too often couples hurriedly go their separate ways without crunching the numbers to see how a breakup will affect them five, 10 or even 20 years down the road.

A newly inked divorce decree may help ease the emotional strain of a failed marriage. But a settlement that doesn't make good financial sense could mean you'll have to make some undesirable lifestyle adjustments down the road.

Consider these 10 ways to lessen the financial impact when it's time to call it quits.

Avoid divorce devastation

1.      Settle out of court.

2.      Keep emotions out of it.

3.      Bone up on financial matters.

4.      Deal with debt strategically.

5.      Check financial statements.

6.      Alimony vs. child support.

7.      Revise lifestyle budget.

8.      Don't forget retirement.

9.      Hire a good financial team.

10.  Protect property interests.

1. Agree to settle most issues out of court

In hotly contested divorces where anger and other emotions run rampant, legal fees can quickly eat into assets that could have been used for other things.

A divorce can cost from a thousand dollars (for an uncontested divorce) to hundreds of thousands or more, according to divorce360.com, an online resource for divorce information.

Spousal support, child support and division of property are the top three issues in the majority of divorce settlements, but couples who are able to communicate can arrive at an agreement without an attorney, says Ed Sherman, author of "Make any Divorce Better!"

It's usually best to settle as many issues out of court as possible, he says. Oftentimes, this can be done with the help of a mediator or arbitrator.

Find one with a background as a judge or an experienced family law attorney who understands the laws in your state, Sherman advises.

You still generally need a court to approve any settlement, but at least you'll spend less time and money on legal fees.

Sherman cautions that mediation and arbitration do have some shortcomings, namely when you need emergency monetary support or visitation rights.

In those cases, you may need to seek immediate court assistance.

2. Avoid letting emotions cloud your decisions

For many couples, divorce is an extremely emotional time that can lead to bad financial decisions, especially when it comes to divvying up property.

"The financial decisions we make in divorce that are emotionally based are absolutely the worst decisions that we'll ever make," says Violet P. Woodhouse, author of "Divorce & Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce."

Woodhouse, an attorney and Certified Financial Planner based in Newport Beach, Calif., says people make bad decisions during a financial crisis because they tend to hang onto things that are familiar, such as a home.

"Two years from now those emotions are not going to be there," she says.

Allow yourself a cooling off period before making financial decisions.

3. Learn how to manage household finances

In many marriages, one partner takes charge of the family finances because it's convenient, but that can mean the other partner is left in the dark about the overall financial picture.

"They need to gather documentation and be fully aware of their financial affairs," says Amy C. Boohaker, an attorney and Certified Financial Planner based in Sarasota, Fla.

"That means in-depth knowledge of not just what your assets are but what your liabilities are."

Bone up on financial literacy concepts. Bankrate's extensive archive of useful articles is free and easy to understand.

4. Deal with debt strategically

One of the biggest sticking points in a divorce settlement is dividing marital debt.

Your ultimate goal is to be divorced from your spouse, including his or her debts.

If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse have joint credit cards or other revolving debt, start paying down your account balances as soon as possible because you're both equally liable for that debt in the eyes of the creditor.

"A divorce decree might say he gets all the joint credit card debt, but that's not going to get her name off of the account and that's not going to relieve her of responsibility if he defaults on them," says Fadi Baradihi, CEO of the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts.

"What most people don't understand is the fact that a loan agreement or credit card agreement will not be trumped by a divorce decree."

Your spouse may be tempted to go on a spending spree with a jointly held credit card before your divorce is finalized, so you may have to close some of the accounts altogether. Your credit score may temporarily take a hit, but it's a better strategy than starting your new life with mountains of newly acquired debt.

If you decide to keep jointly held accounts open while divorce proceedings are ongoing, make sure the bills get paid on time. Baradihi suggests both parties split all bills down the middle.

It may also be a good idea to order a copy of all three credit reports and start opening individual lines of credit if you can.

5. Check financial statements for errors

When divorcing couples own a business together or have a lot of assets to divide, it's critical that financial statements are accurate.

Check for red flags like underreported income, questionable business write-offs and large, recent purchases made in the name of the business.

This is one area where things can get complicated, so you may have to consult with a good forensic accountant or a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and that won't come cheap.

The average cost for a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, for example, is $150 to $250 per hour, according to Baradihi, a Certified Financial Planner and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.

6. Alimony and child support

Family support is typically paid in the form of alimony, child support or both. It all depends on the financial situation of each party and the terms of the divorce settlement.

It's important to know the rules governing family support because the Internal Revenue Service treats each type differently for tax purposes.

The alimony recipient generally pays taxes on that income and it's typically deductible by the paying spouse.

Depending on his or her tax bracket, the payer could get a tax advantage if child support is bundled into the alimony payment.

"If one spouse is in the 35 percent tax bracket and the other is 15 percent, it makes sense that it (family support) be done in some type of alimony scenario because the payee gains the 20 percent tax difference," Baradihi says.

Child support, however, is never deductible by the payer, and the payment received is not taxable, according to the IRS.

A few more things to keep in mind about alimony and child support: Alimony typically ends when you remarry or die.

7. Budget for a lifestyle you can afford

Be prepared to live a lifestyle that's within your means.

You may have enjoyed certain perks while married, but if you were the spouse who didn't bring income into the home, you may be forced to cut back or get a job. Likewise the breadwinning spouse who makes family support payments will likely have to rein in spending.

The custodial spouse often chooses to remain in the house to avoid disrupting the lives of school-age children, but it may not make sense to assume mortgage payments on a house if it's unaffordable, especially if it's worth less than the amount you owe.

"If you can't afford it, you can't afford it," Woodhouse says.

Further, let's assume that both spouses are on the mortgage note: What happens if you can't refinance?

If you receive alimony or other payments, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to afford a mortgage payment on a single income. And with credit standards tightening, your credit score or income may not be high enough to qualify for a loan.

Figure out what you can afford by planning a budget that takes into account all your income including alimony, child support and employment income before deciding if you want to keep the house.

Your monthly housing payment in general should be no more than 28 percent of your gross income.

Bankrate's mortgage calculator can help you determine whether it's a good idea to keep the house or move.

8. Don't forget about retirement plans

Before deciding whether to claim a percentage or lump sum of your soon-to-be former spouse's retirement plan, it's usually a good idea to get a qualified domestic relations order, or QDRO.

A QDRO is a court order that creates or recognizes your right to receive all or a portion of the benefits payable under your ex-spouse's retirement plan.

Generally, retirement plans covered under the Employee Retirement Income Security Act, or ERISA, require a QDRO before benefits can be paid to an alternate payee such as an ex-spouse or dependent.

Individual retirement plans that do not fall under the ERISA umbrella can generally be divvyed up without a QDRO; however, some other plans cannot.

"State (public) plans typically have their own requirements, but they are usually not (regulated by) ERISA and city and county plans are generally not qualified plans," Boohaker says. "They have separate requirements and sometimes they are not even divisible. So it varies."

9. Hire a good financial team

You may think hiring a good financial team will be costly, but in the long run, not hiring one may end up costing you more once your divorce is finalized.

It may be difficult and costly to modify certain divorce agreements later on. Also, financial concepts are often tedious and difficult to understand. If you're perplexed, seek help.

"Obtain good expert advice early on," Boohaker says.

She says a lot of free financial information is available on the Internet, but some of it is not accurate.

A good financial team would consist of a financial planner and attorney. At the very least, they can review your settlement for problems and help you understand your legal rights.

10. Protect your property interests

Before getting a divorce, make sure that your name is on all deeds and titles of property, whether they are jointly or individually owned.

Just because you and your soon-to-be ex shared a beach house or mountain cabin doesn't necessarily mean that property will be considered divisible during a divorce.

In community property states such as California, where a 50/50 division of community property is mandated by law, property you inherited or received as a gift is generally off limits to your spouse.

Some high-net worth individuals protect assets accumulated prior to marriage with a prenuptial agreement.

This is to ensure that those assets cannot be touched during a divorce. However, a "prenup" can backfire.

Some courts view them with suspicion and will likely scrutinize them for fairness and compliance with state law.

"The fact that you're asking for a prenup before marriage could be seen as coercing one side to sign it," Baradihi says.

"Most of them end up (in court) if they are debated or argued after the fact under that premise."

What's the legal difference between annulment and divorce

What's the legal difference between annulment and divorce?

There are two ways to legally end a marriage - annulment and divorce. An annulment is a legal procedure which cancels a marriage between a man and a woman. Annulling a marriage is as though it is completely erased - legally, it declares that the marriage never technically existed and was never valid.

A divorce, or legal dissolution of a marriage, is the ending of a valid marriage between a man and a woman returning both parties to single status with the ability to remarry. While each individual state has its own laws regarding the grounds for an annulment or for a divorce, certain requirements apply nationwide.

An annulment case can be initiated by either the husband or the wife in the marriage. The party initiating the annulment must prove that he or she has the grounds to do so and if it can be proven, the marriage will be considered null and void by the court. The following is a list of common grounds for annulment and a short explanation of each point:

Bigamy - either party was already married to another person at the time of the marriage

Forced Consent - one of the spouses was forced or threatened into marriage and only entered into it under duress

Fraud - one of the spouses agreed to the marriage based on the lies or misrepresentation of the other

Marriage Prohibited By Law - marriage between parties that based on their familial relationship is considered incestuous

Mental Illness - either spouse was mentally ill or emotionally disturbed at the time of the marriage

Mental Incapacity - either spouse was under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time of the marriage and was unable to make informed consent

Inability to Consummate Marriage - either spouse was physically incapable of having sexual relations or impotent during the marriage

Underage Marriage - either spouse was too young to enter into marriage without parental consent or court approval

Depending on your state of residence, a divorce can be much more complicated than an annulment. Like annulment cases, each state has its own set of laws regarding divorce. In most divorce cases, marital assets are divided and debts are settled. If the marriage has produced children, a divorce proceeding determines custody of the children, visitation rights and spousal and child support issues.

Each state can have either a "no-fault" divorce or a "fault" divorce. A no-fault divorce allows the dissolution of a legal marriage with neither spouse being named the "guilty party" or the cause for the marital break-up.

Many states now offer the "no-fault" divorce option, a dissolution of a legal marriage in which neither party accepts blame for the marital break-up. In the absence of a "guilty party," some states require a waiting period of a legal separation before a no-fault divorce can take place. For this reason, in addition to cases where one spouse wishes to assign blame, some parties seek to expedite the legal process by pursuing a traditional, "fault" divorce.

A "fault" divorce is only granted when one spouse can prove adequate grounds. Like an annulment, these grounds vary from state to state, however, there are some overarching commonalities. These guidelines often include addition to drugs, alcohol or gambling, incurable mental illness, and conviction of a crime. The major grounds for divorce that apply in every state are listed below:

Adultery - one or both spouses engages in extramarital relationships with others during the marriage

Desertion - one spouse abandons the other, physically and emotionally, for a lengthy period of time

Physical/Emotional Abuse - one spouse subjects the other to physical or violent attacks or emotional or psychological abuse such as abusive language, and threats of physical violence

Your state law and particular situation will determine whether or not your annulment or divorce will be simple or complex. Familiarizing yourself with the laws for your particular state is the best way to learn what your rights are in the case of a marital dissolution.

Coping with a Breakup or Divorce(Heal)

Moving on After a Relationship Ends

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It’s never easy when a marriage or significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split—and whether you wanted it or not—the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are plenty of things you can do to get through this difficult time and move on. You can even learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.

IN THIS ARTICLE:

• Healing after a divorce or breakup
• Allow yourself to grieve
• Reach out to others
• Take care of yourself
• Learning important lessons

  

Healing after a divorce or breakup

Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? A divorce or breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.

A breakup or divorce launches us into uncharted territory. Everything is disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity. A breakup brings uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will you find someone else? Will you end up alone? These unknowns often seem worse than an unhappy relationship.

Recovering from a breakup or divorce is difficult. However, it’s important to know (and to keep reminding yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with yourself.

Coping with separation and divorce

• Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.
• Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
• Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

Source: Mental Health America

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship

Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses:

• Loss of companionship and shared experiences (which may or may not have been consistently pleasurable)
• Loss of support, be it financial, intellectual, social, or emotional
• Loss of hopes, plans, and dreams (can be even more painful than practical losses)

Allowing yourself to feel the pain of these losses may be scary. You may fear that your emotions will be too intense to bear, or that you’ll be stuck in a dark place forever. Just remember that grieving is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. And no matter how strong your grief, it won’t last forever.

Tips for grieving after a breakup or divorce:

• Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.
• Talk about how you’re feeling – Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.
• Remember that moving on is the end goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.
• Remind yourself that you still have a future – When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.
• Know the difference between a normal reaction to a breakup and depression – Grief can be paralyzing after a breakup, but after a while, the sadness begins to lift. Day by day, and little by little, you start moving on. However, if you don’t feel any forward momentum, you may be suffering from depression.

Reach out to others for support through the grieving process

Support from others is critical to healing after a breakup or divorce. You might feel like being alone, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult. Don’t try to get through this on your own.

Reach out to trusted friends and family members. People who have been through painful breakups or divorces can be especially helpful. They know what it is like and they can assure you that there is hope for healing and new relationships.

• Spend time with people who support, value, and energize you. As you consider who to reach out to, choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who are positive and who truly listen to you. It’s important that you feel free to be honest about what you’re going through, without worrying about being judged, criticized, or told what to do.
• Get outside help if you need it. If reaching out to others doesn’t come naturally, consider seeing acounselor or joining a support group. The most important thing is that you have at least one place where you feel comfortable opening up.
• Cultivate new friendships. If you feel like you have lost your social network along with the divorce or breakup, make an effort to meet new people. Join a networking group or special interest club, take a class, get involved in community activities, or volunteer at a school, place of worship, or other community organization.  

Taking care of yourself after a divorce or relationship breakup

A divorce is a highly stressful, life-changing event. When you’re going through the emotional wringer and dealing with major life changes, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The strain and upset of a major breakup can leave you psychologically and physically vulnerable.

Treat yourself like you’re getting over the flu. Get plenty of rest, minimize other sources of stress in your life, and reduce your workload if possible. 

Learning to take care of yourself can be one of the most valuable lessons you learn following a divorce or breakup. As you feel the emotions of your loss and begin learning from your experience, you can resolve to take better care of yourself and make positive choices going forward.

Self-care tips:

• Make time each day to nurture yourself. Help yourself heal by scheduling daily time for activities you find calming and soothing. Go for a walk in nature, listen to music, enjoy a hot bath, get a massage, read a favorite book, take a yoga class, or savor a warm cup of tea.
• Pay attention to what you need in any given moment and speak up to express your needs. Honor what you believe to be right and best for you even though it may be different from what your ex or others want. Say "no" without guilt or angst as a way of honoring what is right for you.
• Stick to a routine. A divorce or relationship breakup can disrupt almost every area of your life, amplifying feelings of stress, uncertainty, and chaos. Getting back to a regular routine can provide a comforting sense of structure and normalcy.
• Take a time out. Try not to make any major decisions in the first few months after a separation or divorce, like starting a new job or moving to a new city. If you can, wait until you’re feeling less emotional so that you can make better decisions.
• Avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope. When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness. But using alcohol, drugs, or food as an escape is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. It’s essential to find healthier ways of coping with painful feelings.
• Explore new interests. A divorce or breakup is a beginning as well as an end. Take the opportunity to explore new interests and activities. Pursuing fun, new activities gives you a chance to enjoy life in the here-and-now, rather than dwelling on the past.

Making healthy choices: Eat well, sleep well, and exercise

When you’re going through the stress of a divorce or breakup, healthy habits easily fall by the wayside. You might find yourself not eating at all or overeating your favorite junk foods. Exercise might be harder to fit in because of the added pressures at home and sleep might be elusive. But all of the work you are doing to move forward in a positive way will be pointless if you don’t make long-term healthy lifestyle choices.

Learning important lessons from a divorce or breakup

In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. Consider this period a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger.

In order to fully accept a breakup and move on, you need to understand what happened and acknowledging the part you played. It’s important to understand how the choices you made affected the relationship. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Step back and look at the big picture. How did you contribute to the problems of the relationship?
• Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the wrong person in relationship after relationship?
• Think about how you react stress and deal with conflict and insecurities. Could you act in a more constructive way?
• Consider whether or not you accept other people the way they are, not the way they could or “should” be.
• Examine your negative feelings as a starting point for change. Are you in control of your feelings, or are they in control of you?

You’ll need to be honest with yourself during this part of the healing process. Try not to dwell on who is to blame or beat yourself up over your mistakes. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. If you are able to objectively examine your own choices and behavior, including the reasons why you chose your former partner, you’ll be able to see where you went wrong and make better choices next time.

Living in a bad marriage for child's sake

Living in a bad marriage for child's sake

Does it make sense to stay in a marriage that has broken down, for the sake of your child? TOI speaks to the experts

Last month, Nandita Puri filed a case of domestic violence against husband, actor Om Puri. Speculation over the health of theirrelationship had been rife ever since Nandita wrote a tell-all book in 2009. Recently, in an interview, Puri said he tried to work on the marriage for the sake of their 14-year old son. Did he do a wise thing? TOI brings you the views of a single parent who has faced this dilemma, a child psychiatrist and a marriage lawyer.

Dr Zirak Marker, child psychiatrist 
I receive several cases of children whose parents are separating. I have seen children between ages nine to 23 suffering because of their parents' dysfunctional marriage. Kids are intuitive, and even if the parents are fighting behind closed doors, they know that something is amiss.

It makes sense for spouses to work on their marriage if one of them has no place to go or isn't financially secure, or even if there's familial pressure to make the marriage work. But, if the duo is constantly fighting, it's a sign that it is not working. There's no point flogging a dead horse.

Sometimes, children of such marriages grow up not believing in relationships. After all, the relationship between their mom and dad is the first one they witness. How spouses choose to part depends on their maturity. They should be transparent and both, the father and the mother, should be respectful towards each other. Also kids are good manipulators. They will not stop shy of instigating parents to get their way. It's up to the parents on how they handle this separation.

Mridula Kamat, senior lawyer at the family court 
Once, I handled a case where the wife had filed for divorce. The couple's daughter was five. Her husband, however, told the court that he didn't want the bailiff to visit their home, so the two reached a settlement. They separated, but continued to live under the same roof, amicably. The child didn't know that her parents had separated till she was 13 years old.

This, however, happens very rarely. In most cases, there is constant squabbling and sometimes, even physical assault. Children bear the brunt of the emotional upheaval at home. It's worse when some parents use the child as a 'weapon' to hurt their spouse.

Though there are financial and societal pressures, I would say that if spouses are constantly nasty towards each other, it's better to opt out. It's a farce if marriage has broken down and the couple says that it isn't, for the sake of the child.

Urvashi Dholakia, actor, mother of twins, aged 18
It's very difficult to know what happens in a relationship behind closed doors. However, I'd say that it's always best to try and work things out in a marriage, especially if a child is involved. Only when the couple feels that they have tried everything in their power, but still can't stay together that they should decide to part ways. However, it's important to part amicably. Both spouses should be careful to not talk negatively of the other to the kids. Children get affected when their parents' marriage falls apart.

Not everyone gets a good support system once they separate from their spouse. I was blessed to receive my parents' support when I ended my marriage 18 years ago. The world is different now; there are many more single parents.

How a child deals with the situation depends on the parents. You can help them cope by explaining what is happening. Ensure that the child's daily routine isn't hampered, whether school or tuition class. Once your child grows up and has a relationship of their own, they will under- stand how complicated it can get

Infidelity over phone ground for divorce

'Infidelity over phone ground for divorce'

KOCHI: Divorce can be granted on the ground of cruelty if a spouse maintains illicit relationship over phone, the Kerala high court has held.

The ruling by a division bench comprising Justices Antony Dominic and P D Rajan came while considering an appeal against Thalassery family court's order denying divorce to a man on the ground of cruelty despite proving on the basis of his wife's telephone records that she maintained an illicit relationship.

Phone records had shown that the wife used to call her childhood 'friend' for long hours during day and night while the husband was working abroad.

To decide the question whether maintaining such close relationship with another person over phone amounts to cruelty for granting divorce, the high court relied on a decision by the Supreme Court in 2004.

In A Jayachandra v Aneel Kaur case of 2004, the SC had held, "To constitute cruelty, the conduct complained of should be 'grave and weighty' so as to come to the conclusion that the petitioner spouse cannot be reasonably expected to live with the other spouse. It must be something more serious than 'ordinary wear and tear of married life'."

Granting divorce to the husband, the high court held, "If the evidence in this case is appreciated in the light of the principles laid down by the apex court, we are satisfied that the evidence clearly indicated that the conduct of the wife rendered it impossible for the husband to live with her without mental agony, torture, or distress."

The wife is an educated lady and she having maintained an illicit relationship cannot avoid the consequences nor can the husband be expected to suffer on the ground that he has two children, the court held.